Screw the green beers and the "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" fakers (there is no way that many people are part Irish. I'M not even part Irish and I'm a redhead!)
You know what's truly important about today?
Some gosh darn corned beef and cabbage.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Make your house smell awful and create a spiced concoction worthy of throwing your taste buds into serious orgasmic bliss. It's probably too late for you to start this on a Friday afternoon, but why not make a lazy Saturday or Sunday dish? It's quite simple. Here, I'll even share a recipe that I use! (Really, quite simple to do. Takes little to no work.)
3 lbs corned beef brisket (should come with a tiny spicy packet)
Dozen Red Potatoes (whole or cut in half, totally up to you)
3 carrots, peeled and cut into thumb-sized pieces
3 stalks of celery, cut into thumb-sized pieces
1 large head of cabbage, cut into wedges
1. Stick that beefcake into a large pot and slowly cover it with water. Sprinkle the spice packet over it*** and sensually stir it around. Cover the pot (it's okay, you'll see the beefcake again soon) and bring it to a boil. Reduce it to a simmering simmer. Keep that baby simmering for a while - 50 minutes per pound. (50 minutes = 1 lb, 1 hr 40 minutes = 2lbs, 2 hr 30 mins = 3 lbs, etc...)
(***I like spices. I also flavor to what I like. About halfway through the cooking time, I'd usually sprinkle in a little extra pepper, garlic, and just a wee bit of chili powder. You can do whatever you want, just remember to taste! And try not too add too much salt, corned beef is brisket that's been brined.)
2. Toss in those potatoes, celery, and carrots to keep your beefcake company and let them simmer together in matrimonial bliss until they are tender and together. Screw up their happiness by adding in the cabbage. You have also now subjected your home to a lingering scent that won't leave. Cook for around 15 minutes and then remove from heat.
3. Pull out the beefcake and let it relax on its own without the nagging presence of the vegetables.
4. Cut the meat across the grain, serve with the vegetables and viola. Food.
5. Oh, mustard or horseradish are AWESOME additions to corned beef. Like, mhm tasty.
So, yeah. Enjoy. Because my journals that aren't related to Rooster Teeth are about food.
<3 Now you can have that green beer with the food.