It has been a little while since I have written a journal. I have been keeping pretty active on my journals so far this year; but recently I’ve been laying low and just keeping up with the community by reading what y’all be writing and doing.
I have come to realize a few things in the past 2 weeks. These thing have been keeping me personally quiet.
I have made a decision to keep low key/silent about my plans. I have realized that by doing this I can disappoint less people and make my loses my own. I am now just going to talk about things when they actually do happen, instead of verbalizing it ahead of time.
I have made some decisions that have hurt me in these past weeks, a big one being that I dropped being a PAX east enforcer. I looked at my schedule ahead of time and saw that I cannot afford to miss school during that time because it is right when progress report cards finalize. (... so far from last semester I have all A’s and a Single B, so I need to keep that alive)
Blabbing about School again...
School is very important to me right now because I realize I do not want to go to Austin, Texas, just yet. If I slam my grades down now there might be a chance that I won’t get accepted into Emerson College in Boston. Hey, maybe they have already decided they don’t want me, but Hell I am going to continue to push myself whether that school accepts me or not. If I do not get accepted, then I make road to head to Austin in July this year. This is a scary thought because Ill be all alone. But, which ever school I end up going to, I know I will continue to pursue success. I just hope I can do this all at home in Boston in the next three years.
I want to stay in Boston because I want to show the people who have trusted and believed in me that It was worth it. Show my teachers, parents, and friends that I was worth It.
Well this may be the last journal till PAX East,
I'll be around the community! Just not making journals
P.S. I know that I have been a moody teenager; going from happy in one journal to mildly depressed in another. I am fully aware of these things, but thats my life right now. I know things will change, but I cant cherish being happy all the time. I have to stay real with myself and realize shit happens and sacrifices will have to be made. The only way for me to grow is to let go of things. At least this is the way I view things right now. Only time will tell if my views will sway.
This means no more journals about my school life haha, I cannot wait until this is not the main topic I write about. Although, I know one day I will miss it.