Lightsaber Check. A jonny reddny orginal short
Plot: The Jedi order has discovered there is a Sith amongst them and two clever Jedi Masters have figured out a method to find the Sith.
Joel: The Jedi Master
Adam: The other master (Bearded Adam)
Various other RT staff
(Jedi nerd fact. Zabrak is the race that Darth Maul was.)
(Setting: Jedi Assembly room, The Jedi are lined up into rows with the two Jedi masters walking up to the front to address the Lines. The Jedi are talking amongst themselves. Joel is carrying a clipboard)
Joel: Ok everyone settle down settle down. I need your undivided attention. Now it has come to the attention of the Jedi Council that a Sith lord has infiltrated the Jedi order
(The Jedi start murmuring again)
Joel: (Raises his hands up a bit to calm the crowd) Stay calm, don’t panic. Now we of the Jedi council (Motions to himself and Adam) have come up with a solution to root out the sith. Mandatory Lightsaber check.
(The Jedi mutter in a confused tone)
Joe: Now what that means is we are going to have you come up one by one and show us (motions again between himself and Adam) the color of your lightsaber. If you are a Jedi your lightsaber should be blue or green or some other happy color. But if you’re a sith it will be read and we will deal with you swiftly and maybe with a cool CGI battle (Adam looks at Joel like he is wondering what he’s talking about). To show you how this will work, fellow Jedi Master Adam here will give a brief demonstration. (Adam pulls his saber out and turns it on, showing that it is blue.) See his is blue, Thank you (The last part is directed to Adam who turns his saber off). Ok let’s start with Jedi… Baxtor. (Points to Baxtor who is standing in the front row, far left of Joel)
Baxtor: Oh what?! Just because I’m a Zabrak I’m your first suspect?! (Outraged and confrontational)
Joel: What? No it’s just-
Baxtor: (Cutting Joel off) It’s just what? There was one Zabrak sith lord so now all Zabrak must be sith lords?! Or is it because I have a double bladed lightsaber (Shows off his lightsaber that is resting on his hip)? You racist stereotyping mother fu- (Gets cut off)
Joel: It’s because you’re first in line.
Baxtor: (drops the tone) what?
Joel: You’re first in line.
(Baxtor looks around and sees that he is first in line)
Baxtor: Oh. Right… Sorry, (Walks up and turns on his lightsaber which is green)
Joel: Ok (Ticks something off on his clipboard) Green, thank you. (Baxtor turns it off and awkwardly goes back into line) Ok next is Jedi Barb.
(Barbra walks u p and shows her lightsaber, which is blue. She is chewing gum or something I don’t know)
Joel: Thank you. Jedi Kovic.
(Kovic walks up and turns on his lightsaber, His saber blade flops down like a limp noodle)
Joel: What is that?
Kovic: It’s my lightsaber, sir.
Joel: No I mean why it is so… (Camera shows the lightsaber flopping a bit) floppy?
Kovic: It gets like that when I’m nervous.
Joel: What? That doesn’t even make sense, (Kovic shrugs) just go back in line. (The lightsaber makes a slurping noise when it gets turned off and Joel makes a disgusted face while Kovic goes back in line.) Jedi Chris (Chris walks up nervously) where is your lightsaber?
Chris: Ya, about that. I kind of dropped it while training.
Chris: It’s still falling.
(Cuts to a guy walking down the street and a lightsaber falls and stabs him through the top of his head before cutting back to Joel and Chris)
Joel: You dropped it. That’s awfully convenient, can anyone vouch for you? (Aaron raises his hand) Ok Aaron, come up here and show us your lightsaber then. (Aaron does and its yellow) Ok and you vouch for Chris?
Aaron: Ya, I was the one who made him drop it. It was green by the way.
Joel: Oh, well sorry for doubting you, Chris. Go see Master Gus for a replacement. Ok let’s continue this. (Cuts to Joel tiredly sending the last Jedi away) and Jedi Zoey is clean. Is that everyone? (Everyone looks around) ok well if that’s everyone I guess we are done for the day. None of you are the Sith lord, thank you for your time. (Joel makes to leave the room)
Chris: Wait master, what about your saber?
Joel: (Stops) Huh?
Barbra: ya, what about your lightsaber? Maybe you’re really the sith lord!
Joel: What? No I’ve been a Jedi for 13 years.
Baxtor: Then show us your lightsaber.
Joel: Fine (Pulls it out and its pink) See not red.
Joel: What’s so funny?
Aaron: Ha, your lightsaber is pink.
Joel: Pink is a very manly color! (They continue to laugh) there were out of the other colors that day! (Turns off his lightsaber as they continue laughing) everyone out, back to your duties! (Everyone leaves the room laughing. Joel just looks down and shakes his head)
Adam: Don’t worry, we’ll get the sith next time. (Turns and leaves, patting Joel’s shoulder) Pinky.
(Joel sighs and the camera transitions to a hooded small figure walking down a hall, other Jedi bow their heads with respect and say hello master or just master as they pass.)
(Camera cuts again to Joel meditating alone with his back to the door. The door opens and the short figure is standing there. He pulls a lightsaber out and turns it on, it is red.)
Joel: (Opens his eyes) I should have known. (Joel gets up and turns his saber on)
(Camera gets close to the mysterious figure)
Pongo: I told you… Watch your back cracker (Removes his hood revealing it is pongo) or pongo gonna cut you open like a fish! (Pongo Rushes forward out of frame and the screen cuts to black as you hear lightsabers clash)